Tiger Says He Sucked At The Ryder Cup Because He Was Tired From Being Unexpectedly Good This Year

Golf Channel — Woods, who went 0-4 in Paris, admitted he was tired because he wasn’t ready to play so much golf this season after coming back from a fourth back surgery.

“It was just a cumulative effect of the entire season,” Woods said. “I was tired because I hadn’t trained for it. I hadn’t trained this entire comeback to play this much golf and on top of that deal with the heat and the fatigue and the loss of weight.”

Best news I’ve heard all week — Tiger didn’t suck at the Ryder Cup because of any thing golf related. Tiger sucked at the Ryder Cup because he simply hadn’t trained for it. He hadn’t factored the Ryder Cup into his calculations for putting the proper amount of fuel in the tank. He was so unexpectedly good this year that not even he could prepare for playing all the elite golf he played, for winning the finale, for losing all the weight, and then for playing in the Ryder Cup. The damn Ryder Cup! Who possibly could have predicted that? Nobody. So after he won at East Lake, the tank was on empty.

Even the fastest, best cars in the world can’t run without gas. Ever heard of pit stops? Well there are no pit stops in golf although there probably should be since Tiger’s more machine than man now.

Bottom line, Tiger’s form or golf game is not to blame for him sucking at the Ryder Cup. It wasn’t the Euros or the Euro crowds or the narrow fairways and brutal rough of their Euro course. Tiger sucked at the Ryder Cup because he was tired from being so good at golf all year. He was tired from rising up from the ashes of spinal fusion surgery, grabbing his giant dick and marching up the 18th at East Lake like Jesus resurrected.

So we’re all good. Just recalculate the numbers and grand slam 2019 here we come.